goodbyes

"i hate goodbyes."
-lloyd christmas

i have never been this emotional in my entire life. i broke down in tears twice in the time it took me to write this blog. i did not realize it would be this hard. even though i hate to say goodbyes, i have found that it is a necessary evil. it helps to bring closure on both ends. our training in colorado taught us that we needed to say good goodbyes. the idea was that in order to fully embrace our new culture, we needed to "let go" of our home culture here in america. in order for my ministry in latvia to be effective, i cannot be consumed with wishing i was back home in america. in order to build the relationships i need to build in latvia, i cannot be constantly wishing to see my family and friends back home. i have to let go of all of that for the time being, and trust that God is Sovereign over these things. i must choose embrace my new culture and i cannot do that while i am still clinging to my home culture.

all that to say, this does not make it any easier for me to say goodbye. i have already been able to say a few goodbyes, but there are still a lot more that need to be said in the next five days. i dread a few of them. i literally get sick to my stomach when i think about saying goodbye to my family. so, i ask for your prayers and for the Lords Grace in this process of saying goodbye. i know it will not be easy to say goodbye, but i also know that the cost of following Jesus is never cheap.