its comical to me sometimes how bad my memory is. i daily forget little things like my wallet, keys, phone, etc. but rarely do i forget the really important things.... however, that is not always true when it comes to God. He continually proves Himself faithful and i constantly seem to forget that. i forget to remind myself of all the times that He has been faithful to me.
heres a little proof....
a few months ago i was going crazy trying to finish up my last semester at Biola (which was a miracle in itself).... 23 units, an internship, and a part-time job, etc.... by the grace of God i was able to finish all of that.... and i even managed to finish two semester long online courses.... in four days.... DURING FINALS WEEK!.... haha! wouldnt ever want to do that again. as all this was going on there was a fairly important decision that needed to be made. i had to decide what was next.... every senior in college's worst nightmare. i had to choose whether to find a job and a place to live in los angeles or to move back home to arizona and find a job there. over the last few weeks of school God made it clear that i should do the latter.
great. thats solved. however, that still left me with a few other unknowns....
-what would i do when i got home?
-how was living with my parents again going to work out?
-where would i work?
-when was i going to finish my Moody correspondence course?
-what was next for latvija? along with about a hundred more unanswered questions about latvija.... you get the picture.
all the while in the back of my head i was dreading moving away from Biola. i would be leaving the community of friends that God had provided for me, who had been my family for the past 3.5 years. i would also be leaving the wonderful place that Biola is. frankly, i was scared. i remember sitting up at night last semester during finals week thinking about what i should do next. i called my mom hoping that she could offer some wisdom on what i should do. somewhere during our conversation it finally hit me that my college career was coming to an end. i broke down. i cried like a baby. i cant remember the last time i had cried like that. how was i supposed to leave this place that i had grown to love so much?
well here i am on april 12th. 4 months removed from the situation....
-living with my parents has worked out wonderfully and because of it i have been able to spend a lot more time with my family, which has been amazing. this is one of the main reasons that i decided to move home.
-God has provided for me financially through three jobs.
-by the grace of God i finished my last college course (which was another miracle) and will graduate from Biola debt free! (largely in due to the generosity of my parents) and those of you who go to Biola know what a miracle that is....
-a few weeks ago i had the chance to go back to los angeles to surprise a few friends and go to a friends wedding. God has also provided a select few friends here in arizona that have managed to keep me socially sane.
-i spent the past two days here in wheaton, illinois at the josiah venture office with some incredible people. it is a three day orientation to the ministry of josiah venture. they have managed to challenge me, encourage me in numerous ways, while also calming a lot my fears about moving overseas for the next two years.
.... all that to say GOD IS GOOD. He is most certainly faithful. He is my provider in every way. i am loved by Him. i trust in Him. in fact, He is all of those things even when my life isnt running so smoothly. i think sometimes it takes hindsight to see these things.
now i just hope i can remember that.
